Thursday, November 7, 2019
"UNCOMMON TYPE: SOME STORIES" By TOM HANKS
"Our Town Today With Hank Fiset"
"Your EVANGELISTA , Esperanza"
Excerpt: "WHY GO ANALOG?...The only negative? 'My friends had to be taught how to get ahold of me.'..."
Excerpt: "WHY GO ANALOG? 'My email was hacked,' Esperanza told me. By who? 'The Russians? The NSC? Fake Nigerian princes? Who knows. My data was stolen. My life was such a mess for months.' These days she uses the internet sparingly and has an old flip-style flip phone, with which she can text but which she prefers to use the old-style way-by getting and receiving actual telephone calls. She never has to ask for the wi-fi password. And as for Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, et al.? 'Gave them up', she says, almost bragging. 'When the hack happened and I went off social media, my day gained, like, six hours! I spent so long checking my phone every few minutes. Never mind how much time I wasted playing SnoKon, catching colored balls of ice in a little triangle cup for points.' The only negative? 'My friends had to be taught how to get ahold of me.' What is written, exactly, on that typewriter of hers? 'Lots! I have a big family. Birthdays, the nieces and nephews get a letter and a five- or ten-dollar bill. I write memos for work that I either copy or rewrite and email at the office. And here...' She held up a page filled with the neatest, most perfectly formatted document you could ask for. 'This is my grocery list.'...
"Your EVANGELISTA , Esperanza"
Excerpt: "WHY GO ANALOG?...The only negative? 'My friends had to be taught how to get ahold of me.'..."
Excerpt: "WHY GO ANALOG? 'My email was hacked,' Esperanza told me. By who? 'The Russians? The NSC? Fake Nigerian princes? Who knows. My data was stolen. My life was such a mess for months.' These days she uses the internet sparingly and has an old flip-style flip phone, with which she can text but which she prefers to use the old-style way-by getting and receiving actual telephone calls. She never has to ask for the wi-fi password. And as for Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, et al.? 'Gave them up', she says, almost bragging. 'When the hack happened and I went off social media, my day gained, like, six hours! I spent so long checking my phone every few minutes. Never mind how much time I wasted playing SnoKon, catching colored balls of ice in a little triangle cup for points.' The only negative? 'My friends had to be taught how to get ahold of me.' What is written, exactly, on that typewriter of hers? 'Lots! I have a big family. Birthdays, the nieces and nephews get a letter and a five- or ten-dollar bill. I write memos for work that I either copy or rewrite and email at the office. And here...' She held up a page filled with the neatest, most perfectly formatted document you could ask for. 'This is my grocery list.'...
Thursday, October 31, 2019
Monday, October 28, 2019
"WEIRD THINGS CUSTOMERS SAY IN BOOKSTORES" BY JEN CAMPBELL
Some of MY favorites from the book, MONTY PYTHON connections:
Ghosts
p. 206, Customer: I need to return this book on ghosts.
Bookseller: Is there a problem with it?
Customer: Yes. It's haunted.
-Susan Holland: Smith Books, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Ref: Alice In Wonderland
p. 25-26, Customer: Do you have any of those books where you can change the names of the main character to the name of the person you're giving the book to? Do you have ALICE IN WONDERLAND, but not Alice. I'd like SARAH in WONDERLAND.
Bookseller: I'm afraid you have to buy those from the publisher, as they're print on demand service.
Customer: Yeah, I don't really have time to do that. Do you have a copy of ALICE IN WONDERLAND? Then I can just cross out the name myself and change it.
Ref: Picture Books
P. 43, Customer: It makes me sad that grown-up books don't have pictures in them. You're brought up with them when you're younger, and then suddenly they're all taken away!
Bookseller: Yes. It's a cruel world.
Ref: Bumblebee
p. :46, Customer (to bookseller): Won't be a sec.
(Customer wanders off into non-fiction)
Bookseller: So, what's your name?
Child: Sarah.
Bookseller: Sarah? That's a beautiful name.
Child: Thank you.
Bookseller: So, Sarah, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Child:...A bumblebee.
Bookseller: Excellent.
13
p. 94, Bookseller: Ok, so with postage costs that brings your total to $13.05. One second and I'll get the card machine.
Customer: No. No, absolutely not. I demand that you charge me $12.99. I will not pay for anything that starts with thirteen. You're trying to give me bad luck. Now, change it, or I will find a bookstore that doesn't want me to fall down a hole and die. Ok?
LOTR
p. 104, (Customer brings THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy to the counter)
Customer: I am Legolas and I need to spread the word about THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I need to have this book for free.
Bookseller: No, I'm sorry, I can't give you the book for free.
Customer's Friend: You have failed your quest!
- Christopher Miya, Pegasus Books, Berkeley and Oakland, CA
p. 133, Customer (to her friend, upon opening a copy of THE LORD OF THE RINGS): Oh, look, this one's got a a map in the front.
Customer's friend: Oh yeah. Where's it of?
Customer: Mor...Mor-dor.
Customer's friend: Oh. Where's that then?
Harry Potter
p. 114, Customer: Do you have Harry Potter book seven, part two?
Bookseller: Book seven is just one volume.
Customer: But the movie has two parts, so there must be a second book. They don't just make movies from nothing!
- Gabe Konrad, Buy Leaf Used & Rarte Books, Sand Lake, MI
...so much more...208 pages total
Ghosts
p. 206, Customer: I need to return this book on ghosts.
Bookseller: Is there a problem with it?
Customer: Yes. It's haunted.
-Susan Holland: Smith Books, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Ref: Alice In Wonderland
p. 25-26, Customer: Do you have any of those books where you can change the names of the main character to the name of the person you're giving the book to? Do you have ALICE IN WONDERLAND, but not Alice. I'd like SARAH in WONDERLAND.
Bookseller: I'm afraid you have to buy those from the publisher, as they're print on demand service.
Customer: Yeah, I don't really have time to do that. Do you have a copy of ALICE IN WONDERLAND? Then I can just cross out the name myself and change it.
Ref: Picture Books
P. 43, Customer: It makes me sad that grown-up books don't have pictures in them. You're brought up with them when you're younger, and then suddenly they're all taken away!
Bookseller: Yes. It's a cruel world.
Ref: Bumblebee
p. :46, Customer (to bookseller): Won't be a sec.
(Customer wanders off into non-fiction)
Bookseller: So, what's your name?
Child: Sarah.
Bookseller: Sarah? That's a beautiful name.
Child: Thank you.
Bookseller: So, Sarah, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Child:...A bumblebee.
Bookseller: Excellent.
13
p. 94, Bookseller: Ok, so with postage costs that brings your total to $13.05. One second and I'll get the card machine.
Customer: No. No, absolutely not. I demand that you charge me $12.99. I will not pay for anything that starts with thirteen. You're trying to give me bad luck. Now, change it, or I will find a bookstore that doesn't want me to fall down a hole and die. Ok?
LOTR
p. 104, (Customer brings THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy to the counter)
Customer: I am Legolas and I need to spread the word about THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I need to have this book for free.
Bookseller: No, I'm sorry, I can't give you the book for free.
Customer's Friend: You have failed your quest!
- Christopher Miya, Pegasus Books, Berkeley and Oakland, CA
p. 133, Customer (to her friend, upon opening a copy of THE LORD OF THE RINGS): Oh, look, this one's got a a map in the front.
Customer's friend: Oh yeah. Where's it of?
Customer: Mor...Mor-dor.
Customer's friend: Oh. Where's that then?
Harry Potter
p. 114, Customer: Do you have Harry Potter book seven, part two?
Bookseller: Book seven is just one volume.
Customer: But the movie has two parts, so there must be a second book. They don't just make movies from nothing!
- Gabe Konrad, Buy Leaf Used & Rarte Books, Sand Lake, MI
...so much more...208 pages total
Saturday, October 26, 2019
OCTOBER 25TH, 2019
8 AM-ish on way to buy paper newspapers (dinosaur):
Motorcyclists - trim, leather jackets, helmets
Eking out last good weather days
Before Winter sets in (big time)
Meditation, Hopkinton Senior Center, Noon - 1 PM
Autumn trees undressing
Making way for Winter's dance
or
Giving way to Winter's dance
or
Giving way to Winter's embrace
--------
Little insects still bravely chirping and buzzing
5 PM-ish, Hopedale, MA
Mosquitoes still out
Business Names
Men In Kilts - gutters?
The Roofah! MA accent
Motorcyclists - trim, leather jackets, helmets
Eking out last good weather days
Before Winter sets in (big time)
Meditation, Hopkinton Senior Center, Noon - 1 PM
Autumn trees undressing
Making way for Winter's dance
or
Giving way to Winter's dance
or
Giving way to Winter's embrace
--------
Little insects still bravely chirping and buzzing
5 PM-ish, Hopedale, MA
Mosquitoes still out
Business Names
Men In Kilts - gutters?
The Roofah! MA accent
Thursday, October 24, 2019
"INSIDE MY HEAD" ; SOCKS
Thoughts fleeting
Soaping and rinsing
Tumbling and turning
Like socks gone missing
Or lost
In the washing machine and dryer
Of what purports to be my "brain"
Inside my head
 |
| Double Trouble Mona Lisa Leonardo Da Vinci |
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
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